Free

Here it is. Another little private space for me to hone my writing, to pour my heart out and express my deepest emotions. I'm exploring what it is to be vulnerable, to embrace being natural and authentic and 100% me. It's hard to let go and let the world see you for who you are. But expressing my true goddess self is great - it's the most beautiful, powerful thing that any of us can and should do.


My brother in a roundabout kinda way says that I use blogging as a way to process. He mocked me and at the time made me feel like a fool for using a blog as a way of processing emotions. He's right, I do use it almost like a form of therapy. It's my happy place. I've blogged since I was 16. And before that I would intermittently journal. It feels good to write, it allows me to empty out - to release the thoughts that bounce around my head. I've kept many personal blogs over the years, then I grow bored/busy/lazy and eventually move on from it. But I can't stay away for too long. I feel the pull to start something again and to articulate my thoughts. So here I am again.


It's late and I'm tired. We've been in Canada for one month now. I'm applying for jobs but I don't want to work. I love not working. I'm absolutely adoring bouldering. The physical and mental challenge of climbing up a rock face is incredibly rewarding. I feel strong and powerful. I feel pushed, scared, weak. But I've seen improvement slowly and when I accomplish an extra move up the wall, I feel amazing. I'm smooth and in control. Like I'm dancing. I feel so so great. I feel free.


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There's method to my madness. I've fallen completely smitten with bouldering and I don't want it to fade like everything else in my life. My current focus and priority at the moment is simply to embrace the beauty of me - to allow my inner goddess to shine through. Upon brainstorming, I've settled on 'The Goddess Within' for the title of this space (I have an obsession for naming things, but I feel giving a project the right title gives it character and life). The Goddess Within is fitting for me I feel, as I embark on a fascinating and beautiful journey into immersive femininity, by nourishing of my body and mind. I also use rock climbing (and bouldering specifically) as a way to further empower myself physically and mentally.


When I climb, I leave the earth beneath me and strive for greater heights. I feel graceful and free. A goddess is powerful and feminine. She encompasses love, beauty, fertility and creation. It is embracing of what it is to be a woman, and to celebrate the delicate nature of the divine feminine. With this in mind, I commit to being faithful to myself, loyal to my deepest passions, and open to the ebs and flows of womanhood.


Connecting to the ideology of a goddess is like connecting to the greater tribe of women (and men) who immerse themselves in life; embracing the emotions, passions and thoughts that come with being human. This concept will be my guiding spirit as I embark on my journey to fully surrender to myself, my inner beauty, and my most divine goddess self.